And that fear can cause us to act irrationally or obsessively.” “I think many mothers in the same situation hide from the world because we are so ashamed of what is happening to our children. This kind of behavior isn’t unusual for mothers of addicted children, Swenson said. Filled with guilt and shame, she retreated into a sad sort of seclusion. Swenson couldn’t help but feel like a failure. It is so unhealthy.’ ”ĭespite her family’s tireless efforts to help Joey achieve sobriety, he bounced in and out of treatment programs (including Hazelden), dropped out of college, ran into trouble with the law, overdosed and attempted suicide. “My husband would stand at the door of the den, literally blocking the way to the computer,” she recalled. She was trying to save her son’s life, she explained - but it got to the point that she had no life of her own. I had his passwords from early on in high school when he was doing college applications, so I’d check his emails, his Facebook posts, everything I could get my hands on.”īut when Joey’s struggles continued into adulthood, Swenson said her stalking grew out of control. “I literally was stalking him,” Swenson said, explaining that during Joey’s teenage years, her obsessive observation felt like good parenting: “I would go find him if he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. “We all need to take a closer look at the things we’ve avoided-the things lurking around in this place where love and addiction meet-so we’re as strong as we can be.As she watched her son Joey slip into addiction, Sandra Swenson became obsessed with his every movement. Tending Dandelions is a vital source of wisdom, support, and strength that helps us begin our own journey of recovery. From our shared struggles emerge opportunities for personal growth. Along the way, we plant beautiful roses only to be injured by their thorns, and we pull up unwanted dandelions that, at times, are our only source of wishes.īy sharing the realities we never expected our families to face, mothers of addicted children support each other through experiences that can only be feared and imagined by others.
These meditations continue the tradition of Hazelden’s beloved series of daily readings by providing moments of recognition, confession, and healing for those who are realizing that recovery rarely follows a neat or comfortable path. Sharing our perspectives helps us all grow stronger, together. Mothers of addicted and alcoholic children share a deep connection-one that is rarely understood by anyone who hasn’t experienced a similar path.
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